This was adapted from an impromptu lesson I gave some girls that were helping at my church. The topic or relationships came up and the following discussion developed.
It revolves around her chorus "If you liked it, you should have put a ring on it."
The two "it"s are different... the first one is sex, the second one is her ring finger. Or, interpreted, she's saying, "If you liked (the sex we were having) you should have put a ring on (my finger...married me)." The song continues with Beyonce saying that she'll make the boy that burned her regret it, miss her, etc...
Now, let's examine it. Basically, she's giving sex away to get a boy. (Working off the basic driving principle that MOST women want marriage/commitment/relationship and boys want... sex) That's fine because she got a guy that was willing to tell her what she wanted to hear. Now, we run into a problem. If you're giving something away for free and then start to charge for it (or demand commitment), that only works if you're the only place giving it away and you've got your audience addicted. If there's other free providers, then people will migrate over to them and you'll be left with only those who really like your service and can pay. (Looking at it like an email provider example, you have two fictitious email websites, Weebeefree.com and FreeEmail.org. WBF.com came along first, offering free email. Quickly it gained mass subscribers. But, then it started to charge a nominal fee of $10 per month. About the same time, FE.org came along and was still offering email for free. You'll get a migration from WBF to FE because people who are doing stuff for free either don't have the $$ to pay for emails or they're just not willing to pay for email.) In a much more simple example, imagine you have this really good cat food. You put it outside and, sure enough, you attract a stray cat. As long as you're giving the food away, you'll keep the stray cat. But, start trying to bring it in or bring it to a vet... and suddenly the cat will go to another source of free food.
Basically put, here's the problem with Beyonce's relationship. She's giving her sex away for free and, when she asks for commitment, her "man" takes off to find another girl that's giving it away for free... because that's the kind of "man" she attracted. That is why I tell girls not to have sex before marriage: because if the guy that likes them is really interested in commitment and what he can give, he's not going to be wanting to take sex from her before that commitment is made.
Flipside of this is on the guy's side... if a girl is really high quality, she'll respect you more if you treat her like a princess. And treating her right means giving more than you're getting and treating her like she really is a lady and, frankly, not an unpaid whore. (Whatever "commitments" you make while in "love" with someone does not stand up in a court of law and are not binding. By commitment, I mean marriage.)
One side note is that Beyonce is angry with her former boyfriend that's now not with her (and probably with another girl)... so she's going to do all sorts of things to get back at him. Girls, if you think you'll be able to pull this off and somehow make his life miserable, you can forget that. If all he cares about is sex and getting it free... why does he care what you're doing or not doing if he's getting it from someone else?
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Hello,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your insight from this song/video. I hope the young folks appreciated it too. You never know who is listening!
Keep up the good work!