Central Relationship Quality

For my first post, something simple. I was reading a book recently. It's called "Blink" and it's by Malcom Gladwell. The jist of the book is that people can make snap decisions that are just as good as thought-out ones because of the subconscious thought-process or "intuition".

Basically, one of the examples was a special kind of marital counselling. They have a couple talk for 15 minutes about something they disagree over. After analyzing it, they can predict with 90% certainty if the couple will stay together or not. Boiled down, it was whether either member of the couple held the other in disdain.

Now, what's this mean? I mean, shoot...it's not like people have "I like you" or "I disdain you" written on their foreheads.

But, in one of my other journal-entries on the topic of relationships, I mentioned that respect is absolutely essential (which is two ways of saying the same thing, respect or don't disdain). A lot of people are looking for "funny", "intelligent", "successful", "cute", "handsome", or "clever". Perhaps, based on all of this, we should be looking for someone we can respect first and later looking for the other, less important stuff?